Vacations, Bathing Suits, and Body Issues…

I recently took a long, over-due beach trip with my family. And you know what that means – swimsuits. I have a suit. It’s a tankini with shorts and a tank top-like top, for those of you who don’t know what that is. If you’ve seen my newest release, Entertaining Angels, around, you’ll also know that I’m trying to promote a healthy body image in women–and men–who need it.

Do you know how hard that is when you’re an overweight woman who is seeing all these cute little women running around in bikinis? You feel worthless and fat and ugly. Well, I did anyway. But, you know what, I went out there in my swimsuit anyway. I went in the ocean and got rolled by a wave, and I felt like a beached whale some. But, I also realized something, if people thought that about me, they didn’t say it. So, they probably weren’t thinking anything about it. It was just in my head.

What I’m trying to say is that, even though I’m trying to get this across to everyone that they are beautiful, I’m still human, and it’s a daily struggle to feel beautiful and have a healthy body image of myself. It’s not easy to look in the mirror some days and see myself as beautiful. I have a friend who will not let me doubt myself. He’s much like Chase, and I didn’t even realize that I had used him as an inspiration while I was writing Chase! Still, we both talked about the similarities the other day, and it was uncanny! But, the point of that is to tell you that he still won’t let me talk down about myself. And it took him years, but he’s gotten in my head. When I doubt myself, I think about what he would say if I told him my thoughts. It helps, but I also have to learn how to love myself and find myself attractive. Self-confidence is everything, and I was seriously lacking in that. I’m slowly gaining it, but I’m gladly gaining it.

Actually, real-life Chase shared this on his Facebook this morning. :)
Actually, real-life Chase shared this on his Facebook yesterday morning.🙂

That’s why I’ve written Entertaining Angels. I realize that not everyone has a Chase to tell them how beautiful they are. So, I want to them to come to that conclusion on their own. Much like I’m working on myself. I want my book to do that for them too. I want people to see just how beautiful they are, and how much God loves them for who they are. Yes, this is a Christian novel, but it’s also a novel about self-esteem issues that even non-Christians have said was a beautiful reminder about learning to love oneself.

So, although I’m working on loving myself in a swimsuit and trying not to judge myself based on what others look like, I also hope that other women out there are doing the same thing. I hope that they’ve maybe read what I had to say in Entertaining Angels and are applying it to themselves. I hope they truly learn to love themselves. I don’t care if I never sell another book. I just want women–and especially teenage girls–to see that THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY THEY ARE!

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Beach selfie! (No makeup by the way!)

5 thoughts on “Vacations, Bathing Suits, and Body Issues…

  1. Em, You are one of the most beautiful people I know! Your words in Entertaining Angels not only brought about a spiritual feeling in me it brought out the real me. The me who hides when cameras come out, the one to embarrassed to see myself in a swimming suit. You helped me realize that no matter my size someone still loves me for me. Thank you for that! Life is beautiful. Thank you again!❤

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  2. Emerald you are beautiful and this piece was so real and profound it made me tear up because I struggle everyday to feel beautiful. I dealt with my own type of bullying growing up that still now to this day I have to let my faith and wonderful husband Jeremy affirm me everyday. I was born with cleft lip and the constant teasing made it unbearable especially through middle school plus I have struggled with my own weight issues. Thank you for writing this and know you are beautiful and thank you for writing Entertaining Angels and creating a character like Madison to show your own struggles and characters like Chase who is like the friend you mention who provide you with wonderful support to love your own body and yourself! You are beautiful just the way you are!

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    1. I’m so sorry, Syl! You didn’t deserve to be treated that way, but you have such a beautiful spirit! I’m so glad that your husband and God have shown you your true beauty! Thank you for your compliments. It means a lot to me!😀

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      1. Oh thank you Emerald. I appreciate your kind words. Thank you and yes I am much better now and I can honestly say I love myself thanks to God, My husband, children and friends. Oh God bless you always and you are most welcome my friend!

        Syl

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