I was bullying myself…

I was bullied as a kid, into my teen years, and even sometimes now (when people make fun of my size). I wrote a guest post on it not long ago.

But what scares me the most about bullying is the thought I had the other day looking in the mirror and going over everything I hate about myself. I was BULLYING myself. Imagine the shock that overcame me. I was just as bad as the others who would laugh at me as I passed by. Or the guy who wanted to meet me until he saw that I was fat and drove off without even getting out of his vehicle to talk to me. Or that other guy who told me he wouldn’t date me until I lost weight. (Bye Felicia!)

The point is not to relive these horrifying moments in my life but to make a point. I was bullying myself.

stop bullying yourself

The thing is, every time you speak negatively about yourself, you’re bullying yourself. Bully, by definition is to “use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone).”

We end up intimidating ourselves into believing that we’re ugly or unworthy of love or anything. If we could change this about ourselves, we’d be prettier, better looking, we’d fit in. That hair style would make me look better. I need to change this. I need to change that, and eventually, we start to BELIEVE that we can’t look better until we change. And this goes for everyone who has ever looked in the mirror and thought that about themselves – men, women, fat, average, or skinny. This is EVERYONE and ANYONE. It’s those who never thought they’d amount to anything. Those who wanted to belong but never felt like they could. Please, stop bullying yourself and start loving yourself.

Is it easy? Absolutely not. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to convince myself of was that I was beautiful. I still see this fat, good for nothing, nobody in the mirror. No one wants to listen to me. No one wants to hear what I have to say, because well, look at me. I’m nobody, but then I’ll remind myself of what God has told me. I’m beautiful. I’m His. I’m somebody. And you are too!

It’s a long process to learning to love yourself, and you’ll have setbacks. I’m not saying that you can do this overnight, but once you start to speak positively and began the road to loving yourself, you’ll feel freer. It’s hard to put into words exactly how freeing it is.

So, please, stop bullying yourself and start to #loveyourself!

Share on Facebook and Twitter with the hashtag #loveyourself!

#loveyourself

10 thoughts on “I was bullying myself…

  1. oh thank you for this post. You are beautiful and now thanks to you I will learn to love myself everyday too! I had never thought of it like you said and you are right. God created us and he loves us and wants us to love ourselves because we are his.

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  2. I’m bad for negative self-talk. I must root out my positive affirmations CD and get playing it again nightly when I’m going to sleep.
    Thanks for this post, Emerald. Hope you have a great weekend, Emma x

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  3. If you’re anything like me the things you say (or think) to yourself about yourself are probably far worse than anything anyone else has ever said. When those thoughts come, we must remember to take them captive and not to ever speak them out loud, because words have such creative power, both negative and positive. There used to be a skit, I think on SNL, where a male character would look at himself in the mirror and say something along the lines of “I love you because you are fabulous.” That’s not it exactly, but it was similar and told so comically as to sound ridiculous. But really, that comedian was giving good advice.

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    1. I know what you mean. I so horrible to myself! Well, I used to be. I’ve been watching my words, especially when God told me to stop speaking those things about myself. And as I wrote entertaining angels and as the message I wanted to get across came about, I realized that to help others, I had to first help myself.

      And yes, that is good advice! We really need to do that more often, convince ourselves how awesome we really are.

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  4. Pingback: #‎beyoubebeautifulchallenge2k15‬ #youarebeautiful | Dreaming Awake

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