Disclaimer: This is my first fully Christian post on Dreaming Awake. (Remember, I moved over here from emeraldbarnes.blogspot.com.) If devotionals aren’t your thing, I understand. If they are, keep reading!
I recently had an episode that put me in the hospital, hooked up to an EKG machine, and the ER nurses monitoring my heart, blood pressure, and checking my blood. My heart beat had skipped a beat or two (that didn’t last long); my hair was falling out; and my chest felt fluttery. Nothing was wrong with my heart, but I was scared. I was afraid that something was wrong. That I was going to die. Turns out, the antihistamine I was on for allergies was what caused it, he thinks. (I’m not sure about the hair loss, but that stopped.)
The ER doctor sent me home, told me to take ibuprofen for the pain in my chest, and that if I didn’t feel better to follow up with my family doctor. Well, I began feeling better, the fear of death left me, and I started living a normal life again.
Not long afterwards, the same thing started happening again, but I wasn’t taking an antihistamine, and I had cut back on my caffeine, like I seriously don’t drink much at all anymore. If you know me, you’ll know that was one of the things I relied on. Anyway, my brain knows what’s wrong with me. I know that it’s not my heart or anything they tested me for. I’m in perfect health. I am, but the devil has gotten into my head, telling me lies about how I’m going to die. And he likes to use my family against me. What will they do without me? Will my nieces and nephews understand why Emmie’s gone? I don’t want to die. I don’t want anything to happen to me.
I haven’t gotten to experience important things in my life. I still have dreams that haven’t come to pass, and I want to live until I’m old and grey. I cannot say this enough. I don’t want to die, and the devil knows this. He knows that’s one of my fears, and fear is what he always tries to use against me.
What I couldn’t see at the time is that the thoughts I was having were lies. I had convinced myself they were true. See, the devil is the father of lies. (John 8:44) It says,
Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
My dad, a minister, told me, “Whenever you have a thought, Emerald, and it makes you fearful, remember, that’s not of God. God doesn’t make you fear anything.” (That’s probably not verbatim, but it’s close.) When a thought makes you scared, you can bet it’s the devil, the father of lies, and not God. God only gives us peace. Remember in 2 Timothy he said, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
What’s a sound mind? I think the AMP version of this verse speaks volumes: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].
A calm, well-balance mind sounds like exactly what I need after all the turmoil that I’ve endured this past week…okay, month.
But see, the devil likes to attack our emotions. There’s nothing wrong with emotions, but when the devil takes ahold of them, it can get complicated, especially when fear is involved.
Last week, I couldn’t sleep, which made it worse. One night I slept maybe three hours, and my emotions were a complete wreck. I’m just about positive that was the devil, too, because it kept me weak. It kept my mind from being sound. And the other night, I broke down. I couldn’t keep fighting this fear. I was terrified of death.
Well, as I was reading a book by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland about healing scriptures, something popped out to me. This verse (Deuteronomy 30:19) said:
Did you see what that said? Choose Life. We get to choose life. He’s set before us life and death, and He has given us the option to choose to live. I choose life. I want to live. I don’t want to die, we’ve established that, so this verse really made me stop and think. I don’t have to fear death. Fear wasn’t something God has given me, nor was death. I get the choice, and I’m going to choose to live!
Faith isn’t always easy. Living a faith walk isn’t easy. Even the Bible says to “fight the good fight of faith” (1 Timothy 6:12). It’s hard, but when the devil starts attacking us, we have to remember that God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear. He’s given us life, a sound mind, power, and love. It’s ours for the taking. We have already got victory. We just have to put our faith where our mouth is. Speak it. Live it. Walk it. Believe it.
So when fear comes knocking, knock back. Remember who your Father is and the power that He’s given you. Choose life. Choose a sound mind. Tell the devil that you no longer have time for his lies. Have a “holy ghost fit” where you just shout at the devil and praise God. You do what is necessary to get rid of the fear and lies. That’s not a life you were meant to live.
P.S. I’m giving away digital copies of Entertaining Angels. I still have 9 copies left to give away! Grab your copy via Instafreebie today!