This goes much deeper than loving myself. This gets into my mental state.
Let me just preface this by saying that this is difficult for me to talk about. For the past few weeks, I’ve been dealing with some stuff. For my sake, I don’t want to go into details, but I wanted to talk about it.
I went at this alone because I couldn’t talk about it. I didn’t feel like I could talk about it because I felt like what I was dealing with was stupid and not worthy of discussion. I felt like I needed to deal with it on my own, but I was miserable. I didn’t feel like myself, and I even found myself praying that God would heal my mind.
It went deeper than just mental. This was spiritual too, and I was at war. Part of me even felt like I didn’t deserve help, because what was plaguing me wasn’t worthy of speaking about. And that was wrong of me to think.
Whatever you’re struggling with, it’s always important. There is always someone there to listen to you, to pray with you.
In this case, it was my parents. I finally broke and told them just how bad what I was struggling with had gotten over the past few weeks.
Disclaimer: I do want to state that I’ve never been diagnosed with any kind of mental illness, depression or anything similar. I don’t claim to struggle with any of these. But, as a highly emotional person and someone who has tendencies to obsess over things that haven’t happened or mistakes I made, sometimes, my brain can get overwhelming.That’s what happened this time. It happens a lot, I’m afraid to say, but I usually deal with it. On my own.
Again, that’s a mistake. You are NEVER alone. Sometimes, I forget that I deserve help just as much as I know you deserve help. I am bad about preaching these important things but never practicing them for myself. And that is wrong too.
I have to learn to take care of me, just as much as I get the pleasure of spreading positivity around. But I’ve got to work on me.
I’ve heard it said that in order to love others, you first have to love yourself. And I get that. I believe in that. But I forgot to love me. I forgot to take care of me. I forgot that I wasn’t alone, that I didn’t have deal with pressure and emotions alone.
And it got me to thinking. There are others who live this way too. They struggle with their feelings until it becomes overwhelming, and sometimes, it doesn’t turn out too well for them. Today, I want you to know that you have to take care of you—and that means stepping out and reaching out to someone who can help you: parents, teachers, friends, husband, wife, sisters, brothers, whomever. There is someone out there who can and will help you. Don’t do this alone. You are NOT alone. Please don’t feel like you are. Together, we can overcome anything.
Am I perfect? No. Am I over this I was speaking about earlier? Not completely. I still struggle with it on a daily basis. But I’m working on it, and I know that I can trust my mom and dad with these fears and anxieties. And there is someone out there you can trust too.