Day 3 of the #beyoubebeautifulchallenge2k15. Labels and fitting in.

As you all know by now, I’m doing this #beyoubebeautifulchallenge2k15. I’m loving it, too! Three days, we post photos of us with no filter and no makeup to show the world that we’re beautiful. (If you haven’t seen them, catch up on Day 1’s Post and Day 2’s Post.)

Anyway, today’s post revolves around two different things I’ve seen around the interwebs as of late. Let’s start with the part of the title, fitting in. This revolves around an article I saw on Hello Giggles that led me to this post on Imgur about Beauty and the Beast. 

Beauty and the Beast happens to be one of my all time favorite Disney movies. I never could quite explain why I loved it so much. Maybe it was the book loving girl who turns into a princess. Maybe it was because – in some ways – I could relate to the beast. I don’t know, but when I read this article, I was like – whoa. This is why I felt such a strong pull to the movie as a kid. I didn’t fit in.

If you haven’t read the article or post, let me share what I mean. The writer of the Imgur post says, “Gaston demonstrates that bullies are rewarded and beloved by society as long as they possess a certain set of characteristics, while nice people who don’t are ostracized.”

Hmm… if you ask me, that’s pretty relevant to what I’ve been discussing these past few days.

What gets me the most is when the user says, “Notice how the Beast reacts when the whole town comes for him. He’s not angry, he’s sad. He’s tired. And he almost gives up because he has nothing to live for. But then he sees that Belle has come back for him, and suddenly he does…. he waits for [Belle] to love him, because he cannot love himself. That’s how badly being ostracized from society and told that you’re a monster all your life can mess with your head and make you stop seeing yourself as human.”

And it does. Oh my gosh does it. You stop loving yourself. You hate yourself, and that’s what these “bullies” are trying to do. They’re trying to turn you into something, someone you’re not.

“DibThing wraps up the theory by suggesting that Beauty and the Beast is so much more than a “be yourself” movie because, ‘if someone doesn’t fit in, then they have to be put in their place, or destroyed. And this movie demonstrates that this line of thinking is wrong.'”

*standing ovation*

Be you. Don’t worry about conforming to everyone else’s “idea”, and that’s all it is, of beauty. Beauty is defined by YOU. Either you believe that you’re beautiful, or you don’t. It’s up to you. Not what anyone else says. You’re beautiful.

Let’s go on to labels, now. I saw where Melissa McCarthy is trying to get rid of the “plus-size” label. Good for her! You know why? Because we’re all just “sizes”. My size isn’t determined to how valuable of a person I am, and it isn’t yours. Whether you’re big or small, you’re still a beautiful person.

Melissa was quoted saying, “Women come in all sizes. Seventy percent of women in the United States are a size 14 or above, and that’s technically ‘plus-size,’ so you’re taking your biggest category of people and telling them, ‘You’re not really worthy.’ I find that very strange,” she told Refinery29. “I just think, if you’re going to make women’s clothing, make women’s clothing. Designers that put everyone in categories are over-complicating something that should be easy.”

Again *standing ovation*

Bravo, Melissa McCarthy. Bravo. Now, if only you’d sell your clothes at a price people without two Oscars could afford.

The whole point of this jumbled blog post was to say that just because you don’t “fit in” to society stands and are “plus-size”, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t valuable. You’re of more value than you think. Stop letting others put a label on you. Label yourself as lovable, beautiful, and down right awesome. Because you are!!

Day three’s no makeup, no filter image is below. Share yours with me using the hashtag #beyoubebeautifulchallenge2k15 and @emeraldbarnes on Twitter and Instagram!

❤

Day 2 of the #beyoubebeautifulchallenge2k15. I won’t be silenced.

Monday night, I posted this photo to my Instagram page with the caption as below.

For over a year now, my goal has been to show women that they are #beautiful as they are. I’ve used hashtags like #loveyourself and #youarebeautiful. Even #youareworthy. My book, #EntertainingAngels, has been a way to do this, but sharing my journey and hearing yours has been amazing! Now, @tessholliday has given us a way to show it through a shirt. #effyourbeautystandards is an awesome way to show the world you love yourself as you are!! (Also, a huge thanks to a friend for this belated birthday present!!!)

In response to this, someone (and you can still see it when you click on the link) said, “@emeraldbarnes this post is a perfect example of how ppl who are overweight who aren’t happy with there weight there uncomfortable see a women like Tess holiday who’s totally fine with being morbidly obese and that changes there mind set and not for the better . Being happy and OK weighing what two grown men weigh only makes you not give a sh** if you gain more and more and at some point your gonna hit rock bottom stuck in your house not being able to clean yourself or be left alone .”

First off, excuse this woman’s poor grammar. I’m assuming, and giving her the benefit of the doubt, that she used her phone to type this up to me. Secondly, I won’t lie. Her words stung. I couldn’t get it out of my head at first, and I tried really hard not to cry. I posted this in my street team, and they were simply amazing by comforting me and talking me down. I decided to stay off of my phone and laptop after that, opting to watch Jimmy Fallon instead because I needed a good laugh.  (On a completely unrelated note, he’s my celeb crush. :))

But, as I was going to bed, I realized something. This woman’s opinion didn’t matter. I know. I know. It should have been the first thing I thought, but it’s hard to get past hurtful words. I preach “love yourself.” I tell you all how beautiful you are, and the thing is, she’s wrong. We aren’t preaching “stay fat.” We’re saying it’s okay to love yourself for who you are. We’re saying that we’re worthy to be loved – by ourselves and others. We’re us, and that’s okay. If we want to lose weight, that’s our decision. If we don’t, that’s also our decision. And people shouldn’t pass judgement on us. We shouldn’t judge each other. We’re all beautiful. Even though this woman’s attitude was ugly, she’s beautiful, too, and I hope and pray she learns to love herself for who she is.

I won’t be silenced. This message is too important. I won’t stop telling women how beautiful they are because one person has opinions that I certainly don’t agree with. I won’t stop urging people to love themselves because if we can’t love ourselves, then what do we have? Nothing. We’re stuck hiding behind computer screens and words because we don’t feel like we belong. And who says we don’t belong out in the world being our true selves? Does everyone else get to dictate how we live? Shouldn’t we feel beautiful just by being who we are?

This isn’t just for overweight people. This is for everyone. You shouldn’t have to change your looks because someone else doesn’t approve. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters. And I’ll tell you something. I’m happy. I can finally look at myself in photos and in the mirror and not hate myself. I won’t change that, and I refuse to go back to the way I was.

I won’t deny this – I wouldn’t mind losing weight, and I do try to lose it. It’s a battle, and that’s okay. I’ll get there when I get there. But I refuse to hide any longer. This is me, pulling on my skinny jeans and wearing them with pride. This is me wearing what makes me happy. This is me not caring what others think. I’m who I am, and that’s all I want to be. Love me or hate me, either’s okay with me, but I’m gonna love me.

So, to everyone out there who isn’t sure if they can love themselves because of their looks or whatever, I hope you learn to push aside negative thinking, negative words, and bullies and go for it. What do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing. You’re beautiful, and I hope you never forget that.

I wrote this in Entertaining Angels. God is talking to Madison, and this is what He says, “How can you doubt your beauty when I create only beauty?…Don’t hide your beauty from the world simply because you doubt.”

Don’t doubt today. You’re beautiful, and you shouldn’t hide yourself because of fear that others will be mean. There will always be people who are cruel and hateful, and I hope you don’t let that negativity keep you from sleeping at night. Be you. Be beautiful.

Here’s today’s no makeup (and unkempt hair) photo. And yeah. I so had to wear the same shirt! #effyourbeautystandards! Remember, show yours with the hashtag #beyoubebeautifulchallenge2k15 on Twitter and Facebook! If anyone asks why you’re doing it, direct them to this post. ❤