Body Apology Part 2

The giveaway has officially ended for Andrea’s guest post on body apology, and if you’ve won, you’ve been contacted. Congratulations. I hope you and your kiddos (if applicable) enjoy it. 🙂

Now, I was talking to a fellow author about my blog and the body apology guest post, and I decided that I wanted to do one for myself. I want to apologize to my body — and God for ever doubting myself.

Here it is…

I'm sorry

Dear Body,

I’m sorry for hating you. I’m sorry that I thought you were ugly. I’m sorry that I tortured you with emotional eating (and simply just emotions).

I’m sorry I thought baggy t-shirts would hide you from the world and the shame that I felt because you were so big. I’m sorry that I yo-yo dieted with you when I should have stuck to a diet plan or just let you be.

I’m sorry that I thought you were disgusting.

I’m sorry that I never listened to my mother when she said you were beautiful, no matter what. How very right she was, and I didn’t believe her.

I’m sorry for the way I talked about you when I saw you in the mirror. Hatred never got us anywhere.

I’m sorry for thinking that because of you I had to settle with the men who were “chubby-chasers” because I didn’t think we deserved better.

I’m sorry for thinking I didn’t deserve (in anything) better because of your size.

I’m sorry that it took me over 20 years to learn to accept you.

I’m sorry we avoided hanging out with people because we were afraid of how they would see us.

I’m sorry about your “fatter in person” disclaimer I used not-so-jokingly before.

I’m sorry I never realized your worth, especially knowing that you’re made in the image of God. How could you be ugly if you’re a creation of God, made in His image?

You’re not. And that’s the point. From this day forward, let’s move on, move past my size and “flaws” and let’s just be happy with who we are.

With love,

Emerald

____________________________________________________________________

And there it is. It’s not long, but it is an apology. I have learned over the years that my body doesn’t deserve to be hated. If I want to change it, that’s my prerogative, but I refuse to hate it any more.

Please comment with your body apology, or link back to my blog so I can see yours and share it! I would love to read it.

#loveyourself because #youarebeautiful (Please use these hashtags as well. It’s kinda my thing, and I follow those tags at times. Oh and my twitter is @emeraldbarnes if you want to mention me so I can see your body apology!)

 

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Why can’t I always look this good?

“Why can’t I always look this good?” I asked myself on Friday after taking an awesome selfie.

I had been ill last week with the stomach bug, Tuesday and Wednesday, and I was venturing out of the house to run some errands on Friday. I snapped a photo for Insta, FB, and Twitter and ended up with this photo which I captioned with:

It’s okay to be a mess, just don’t live there. I’ve had a horrible week, and I felt like I was under attack. I let my situation drive me away from letting #God work in my life and seeing all the blessings that He has given me. I’m rising above. I’m determined to be better, to act better in my relationship with God. Satan can’t #win this battle because I have #victory. You have the victory too. #Jesuslovesyou #loveyourself #victorious

Feb selfie

I had a rough week last week, as I said, and I laid that out on my inspirational blog. It’s about God being faithful when we aren’t. I was an emotional and physical mess. I felt awful, and I’m sure I looked just as awful as I felt. So when I posted this photo, it was a reminder to myself that even though I had a bad week, I was still victorious. I still rose above the bad week I’d had.

But I also had one other thought when I saw this photo: Why can’t I always look this good?

And then I laughed at myself. I always look this good because I don’t change from day to day. I always look like this. Sure, I was dressed in something other than pjs and my hair wasn’t pulled up into a messy bun, and I was actually wearing makeup. It’s not my normal look, but it’s part of my look, and I don’t always have to look like this to look and feel beautiful.

I think our problem tends to lie on the “feeling” beautiful part. Why do we have to “feel” beautiful? Can’t we just be beautiful?

I’ve caught myself telling one of my friends that I don’t feel pretty on certain days. I’ll feel like a complete dump, looking rough in my knit pants and t-shirts. My hair can be a frizzy mess, and I just feel so frumpy. My friend, who has never failed to remind me of my beauty, would always remind me that I was beautiful no matter what I looked or felt like. (He’s one of the main reasons that I started believing in my own beauty again.)

My point is, you can always look as good as your best days because YOU ARE YOU. You’re beautiful. You’ll always be beautiful.

Maybe I’m beating a dead horse with this message, but it’s my hope that one day, every woman and teenage girl will learn that they’re beautiful and feel confident in their own skin, even if you don’t feel beautiful.

So, in answer to my first question: “You can always look this good.”