#youarenotalone: Jordan Elizabeth talks about depression and writing

Hey guys!

I know you haven’t heard from me in a while, and I’m terribly sorry for that. But life…

Anyway, today, Jordan Elizabeth, a fellow Clean Reads author, is guest posting on my blog today. Let’s give her a hearty welcome!

***

I wouldn’t call myself a depressed person.  I wouldn’t call myself a sad person.  I have, though, struggled with depression and sadness in the past.  People always say to “let out your emotions through writing.”  When I’m sad, I’ve done that.  

My dog passed away nine years ago.  I was devastated.  At the time, she was my everything, and most days I found myself going through life with tears streaming down my cheeks.  I needed to express that emotion somehow, and yes, I did talk about it.  People said they understood what I was going through, and I’m sure they did – they too had lost beloved pets.  Their words didn’t help, though.  So, I sat down at my desk and started writing. 

I wrote about my grandmother, actually.  I had lived with her since I was 16 to help take care of her while she battled dementia.  The GOAT CHILDREN came about through my experiences with her.  Yes, much of it is fictionalized, but the emotion was there.  There were a lot of scenes I cut during the editing phase because they were too raw.  Rereading them brought all of that back. 

What does GOAT CHILDREN have to do with my dog?  Well, I gave the main character a little sister: Phebe.  Phebe was based off my dog.  At the end of the story, someone passes away, and I put all of my emotion over losing my dog into that.  I’ve had people tell me how the ending chapters made them cry because of all that emotion. 

Another time I wrote about sadness was when I broke up with my first official boyfriend.  That story is currently unpublished, but I shoved all that emotion into Tabitha breaking up with James, and I felt awesome about it.  I loved taking it all out on poor James.  Nah, he deserved it!

You’re probably wondering now what stories reflect my depression.

None of them.

I can’t write while depressed.  I close in on myself.  I ponder, and eventually I come out of it, but in the meantime, I can’t write anything.  The words are all stuck and emotionless.  Depression makes me numb.  I devote myself to marketing so that I know I’m still doing something, but it isn’t the same.  Maybe one day I’ll be able to write during my depressions, but in the meantime, I’ll write when I’m happy and when I’m sad, and if you cross me…well, you might show up someday as a villain.

***

The Goat Children by Jordan Elizabeth

Thanks, Jordan. Have any of you experienced anything like this before? I have. Sometimes, it’s just hard to write. But there’s

always hope for brighter days ahead!

If you’re interested in learning more about THE GOAT CHILDREN, Jordan is running a Black Friday-Cyber Monday sale on it! Check it out on Amazon for 99¢.

 

 

 

More about Jordan:

IMG_7391

 

Jordan Elizabeth writes down her nightmares in order to live her dreams. When she’s not creating art or searching for lost history in the woods, she’s updating her blog. Jordan roams Central New York, but she loves to travel.

Visit Jordan’s website and learn more about her!

A new journey

May 31 marked the end of Booktrope, my publisher. We were all blindsided and hurt. Where do we go from here? There were lots of questions, few answers, and before we knew it, we were all scrambling to find places to republish or to self-publish again. Luckily, we all stuck together, and things seemed to transition somewhat easily as we made deals with our teams, etc. I won’t go into the mess that was for some, but I’m grateful my teams were awesome about everything.

In the end, I decided to self-publish my Entertaining Angels series again.

The decision didn’t come lightly. I was offered a place at a small press, but I decided that I didn’t want to be under a contract again at the moment. Why? That’s kind of hard to explain. See, I have big dreams for my books, bigger than I should be dreaming probably, but that’s okay. I’ve always loved a quote that said, “Dream so big that you look ridiculous if God doesn’t step in.” That’s what I’m doing. I’m dreaming so big and believing that God has a plan for me.

For I know the plans I have for you,”

I believe that God puts dreams in our hearts for a reason. We all have a purpose on this planet, and this is mine. My purpose is to spread God’s love through the written word. Maybe that’s not my sole purpose, but it’s one I can begin with.

I may look crazy after you guys read this post, but I’m done only half believing in myself and my dreams. I’m going full blast. Someway, I’ll make it. I’ll keep spreading the message of learning to love oneself, learning to see how God really sees you, and knowing that you are not alone, and it will be on a much larger scale. I’m daring to dream bigger.

Anyway, this blog post has sort of taken a strange turn. I never really meant to get into all of that, although I’m happy with holding myself accountable to my dreams. (And that’s why it hasn’t been removed in edits.)

What I wanted to say as well was that I’m working on republishing my books asap. They’re going through KDP publishing right now. Hopefully Amazon will have them available here. I’ll update this post when they do, as well as the one on Facebook.

Also, I’ve ordered proof copies of my paperbacks today, so it will still be at least a week before you can purchase them again. And yes, I said them. I’m doing a paperback for Before We Say I Do, which is unconventional for a short story BUT I did have people wanting them before. I know people like to have hard copies of series (I do!), so I wanted that option available.

As far as Delivered by Angels goes…well, I’m hoping for June 14 as its release day still, but I’m waiting on a full jacket cover and the layout for the book itself. And the jacket can’t happen without layout.

So I’m praying it will all work out the way  it’s supposed to. Keeping to a date is not a huge deal, but I am ready for you guys to have it in your hands!

Stay tuned for more as the after-Booktrope journey continues!

UPDATE: I now have buy links; everything is up to date except for the covers though. :/  I’ve contacted Amazon. We’ll see what happens in the next few days, but the interior is correct if you want to buy it now. 😉

Entertaining Angels

Before We Say I Do