Valentine’s Day for Singles. #loveyourself

I’m single. That’s probably no surprise to my normal followers. I post single stuff all the time on my Facebook and Twitter, and I’m perfectly cool being single. I love being single. It’s fantastic. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be in a relationship, but the right man is worth waiting for. And until he shows up, I’ll be totally content focusing on my career as an author, proofreader, and editor and loving on my nieces and nephews.

So, the other day on my accounts, I posted this meme I created. (Feel free to share it if you wish.)

Celebrate You

The thing about this meme, though, is how accurate it is. We forget that just because we’re single we can actually celebrate this holiday for lovers. To me, learning to fall in love with who you are is just as important as showing someone else how much you love them. Why? Because it’s important to know just how awesome you are, and once you know how awesome you are, you’ll see people in a different light. To me, once I started seeing the beauty of me, it was so much easier to see the beauty of the world in a different light. It pushed me to help those who couldn’t see how wonderful they were to see the same. I think that once we can fully love ourselves, being in a relationship is easier because we aren’t seeking any kind of validation from the other person. If they can’t accept us for who we are, we don’t need that kind of negativity and can end the relationship before it really harms us more and destroys what confidence we have in ourselves in the end. (This is a vicious cycle I had to end in my own relationships, and that’s partially why I’m not actively seeking someone to date.)

It’s also no surprise that I’m an advocate of loving yourself and feeling beautiful in your own skin. (Although, I don’t want to beat you over the head with this message. That’s not my intention.) I just think that instead of being sad on Valentine’s Day because we are single, we should celebrate ourselves. After all, being single means that we have this incredible opportunity to celebrate who we are: our careers, our families, what matters most to us, our wonderful selves in general. We can focus on different things. In my case, I’ll be spending this holiday in church with my family, and I’ll celebrate the love that I have for my nieces and nephews instead of worrying about how single I am and how I’ll never find the love of my life. I don’t want to have a pity party. I’m just going to have a party.

We are important, and I’m not sure we all understand that fully. Our lives are important to others, and it should be important to us. What makes you you should be celebrated, and that starts with how you see yourself.

So I urge you to take this holiday and not focus on your love life or lack thereof. Instead, focus on YOU and being the best version of you that you can be. That means loving you for everything, including your “flaws” and all. (And, I don’t believe in flaws. I think what makes us unique is what makes us beautiful.)

#loveyourself because you deserve it.





The Evolution of not #Barbie but #Acceptance

If you haven’t heard by now, Barbie has launched a campaign called, “The Evolution of Barbie”. They added new body types to the Barbie line: curvy, tall, and petite.

You can see them and watch a video about it here:

curvy barbie
“Curvy Barbie”

See, this makes me happy for many reasons. I think that the original Barbie has been the image that most girls wanted to look like as they grew up. I was one of those girls. I thought that if I could look like Barbie, I would be liked more than I was as a plus-sized, curvy child. That stayed with me as I grew up and compared Barbie to models, actresses, and the “popular” kids in my school. They all strove to look a certain way, to look like what we thought was the “ideal” beauty.

But, now that Barbie is coming out with different body types, girls can start to appreciate their own bodies more. I think this is a healthy step toward the body positive movement. And no, I don’t think they’re promoting obesity, blah blah blah. I think they’re saying what we’ve all been saying. It’s okay to love yourself for who YOU are.

No one is built the same. It’s as simple as that. Some of us are tall, some of us are petite, average, and yes, even curvy and overweight, but that’s okay. It’s just part of being human. None of us are alike. Yes, we can change our looks if that’s what will make us feel better about ourselves, but why not start with loving yourself for who you are and then go from there?

I’m proud of what Mattel is doing, even if they are doing it to make more money. This gives me hope that young girls can learn to love themselves for who they are before struggling with self-image issues in middle grade and high school. A good foundation for loving yourself starts when you’re young. I wish I had listened to my parents and others who told me I was beautiful. Maybe then I wouldn’t have struggled so much, but I also welcome the struggle because it led me to where I am right now. If I hadn’t struggled with this, how could I help others who are going through this struggle? But I don’t wish it on anyone. I spent more time hating myself than loving myself, and if I can’t love myself, how can I love anyone properly?

The point I’m trying to make is that I think changing how we see others’ (including Barbie’s) body types, the more positive we will all be in the end. If we learn to accept differences in people and their bodies now (or at an early age in life), imagine how that could potentially end bullying. Imagine how we could love others and ourselves more.

Maybe I’m dreaming too big, but I never believed in dreaming too big. We can all achieve great things if we set our minds to it, and I believe we’re all heading in the right direction when we can learn to love others for who they are as a person and not what they look like.

So, bravo, Mattel. Thanks for getting this started.