Body Apology Part 2

On By Emerald BarnesIn miscellaneous ramblings, miscellaneous ramblings of a fat girl

The giveaway has officially ended for Andrea’s guest post on body apology, and if you’ve won, you’ve been contacted. Congratulations. I hope you and your kiddos (if applicable) enjoy it. 🙂

Now, I was talking to a fellow author about my blog and the body apology guest post, and I decided that I wanted to do one for myself. I want to apologize to my body — and God for ever doubting myself.

Here it is…

I'm sorry

Dear Body,

I’m sorry for hating you. I’m sorry that I thought you were ugly. I’m sorry that I tortured you with emotional eating (and simply just emotions).

I’m sorry I thought baggy t-shirts would hide you from the world and the shame that I felt because you were so big. I’m sorry that I yo-yo dieted with you when I should have stuck to a diet plan or just let you be.

I’m sorry that I thought you were disgusting.

I’m sorry that I never listened to my mother when she said you were beautiful, no matter what. How very right she was, and I didn’t believe her.

I’m sorry for the way I talked about you when I saw you in the mirror. Hatred never got us anywhere.

I’m sorry for thinking that because of you I had to settle with the men who were “chubby-chasers” because I didn’t think we deserved better.

I’m sorry for thinking I didn’t deserve (in anything) better because of your size.

I’m sorry that it took me over 20 years to learn to accept you.

I’m sorry we avoided hanging out with people because we were afraid of how they would see us.

I’m sorry about your “fatter in person” disclaimer I used not-so-jokingly before.

I’m sorry I never realized your worth, especially knowing that you’re made in the image of God. How could you be ugly if you’re a creation of God, made in His image?

You’re not. And that’s the point. From this day forward, let’s move on, move past my size and “flaws” and let’s just be happy with who we are.

With love,

Emerald

____________________________________________________________________

And there it is. It’s not long, but it is an apology. I have learned over the years that my body doesn’t deserve to be hated. If I want to change it, that’s my prerogative, but I refuse to hate it any more.

Please comment with your body apology, or link back to my blog so I can see yours and share it! I would love to read it.

#loveyourself because #youarebeautiful (Please use these hashtags as well. It’s kinda my thing, and I follow those tags at times. Oh and my twitter is @emeraldbarnes if you want to mention me so I can see your body apology!)

❤

 

7 thoughts on “Body Apology Part 2”

  1. Body, I’m sorry I have always saw you as disgusting, and told you so often. I am so sorry that I told you even at barely over 100 pounds you were fat. I didn’t realize my mind was lying to me. I’m sorry I held you responsible for the abuse I endured in my childhood, and for abusing you more because of it. Body I know God loves you, and he made you perfect, and I’m sorry I abused you. Please forgive my abuse. Forgive my self harm, and my blaming you for things you had no control over. Forgive me for not loving you as I should. Love, Me

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  3. Dear body, I’m sorry that I didn’t pay attention when I should have been. I used you and abused you treated you like a garbage disposal at times in others used you in ways that just made me hate you more. I shoveled you full of junk that could hurt you and destroy you. I knew that what I was doing wasn’t good but didn’t stop. I took out whatever I was going through out on you and I’m sorry. I would hide and cover and at times make fat jokes about you because that was my way of dealing with what I did. Now I know that I don’t have to hide and that it’s ok to love me for me just the way I am. I am beautiful just the way I am. If I want to change myself that is ok as well but, I don’t have to if I don’t want to. If I choose not to my body is beautiful as it is. I don’t need the confirmation from anyone else to feel that way. I am so sorry that I wasted so much time hating you and not accepting my body as it is. No more time wasted today starts a new me and a new love of who I am. I am Beautiful!

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  4. Hmm. Well, this is actually kind of weird. I know I’m a big believer in body positivity, and loving yourself, and the like, but looking back on your body and apologising for past transgressions? It’s a lovely idea, don’t get me wrong, but I guess apologising is an odd thing for me; it’s either really difficult for me to do, or it’s something I do far too often. I guess I never really thought about apologising to myself in any regard. Well, I suppose there’s a first time for everything, so if this seems awkward, then I apologise.

    Sorry; just getting practice in.

    Dear Body,

    I’m sorry that I have found you ugly. Well, the facial area, anyway. I guess I never really gave the rest of my body much thought, though I do say that my bum is my only redeeming factor.

    More to the point, I’m sorry about that, too. You have so many more redeeming factors than just a big, round set of buttocks that serve as a nice shelf for the hands of any woman who would be willing to hug me intimately.

    I’m sorry for the times when I was younger when I would deny you food. Would you believe I actually thought eating was a waste of time that could be spent in my other activities? What was I thinking!? You know I haven’t felt that way in decades, right? Heck, we’ve been to enough all-you-can-eat buffets to know that I love food!

    I’m sorry about the diabetes that’s stopped your pancreas from working. I know that wasn’t my fault, but it still sucks!!

    I’m sorry for all of the injections you have to endure in order to metabolise the sugar into energy. As I said before, diabetes suuuuuucks!

    I’m sorry for each and every time you’ve ended up scraped, bashed, or otherwise injured due to the many stunts I’ve attempted – successfully, or otherwise.

    I’m sorry I blamed you whenever my attempts at wooing a lady fell flat. There are a myriad of reasons why they didn’t work out.

    I’m NOT sorry for seeing beauty, wonder, and value in every body; what I am sorry for is taking so long for “every body” to include you.

    I’m sorry that when I first became diabetic that I tried oh-so-strictly to cut out all sugar. If I had a better understanding of how the pancreas is supposed to work, I’d have been much more lenient – and more calculating with my insulin injections.

    I’m sorry it took so long for me to buy a back scratcher – those things are amazing!

    I’m sorry it took me so long to get around to trying so many awesome things with you – Dr. Pepper, strawberry mochi, tabasco sauce, the list goes on!

    Oh, and I’m sorry for those Chuck Norris shots I have every time I go to West Street Live… or am I? I can’t decide. What? Those things are gooooood!

    Hmm. I’m not quite sure how to end this letter.

    I just hope nobody was expecting me to apologise to my body for how big my belly got over the past ten years or so – this belly’s adorable!

    Did I just say that? Huh – guess I did.

    Guess I’m taking some positive steps after all.

    Way to go, me!

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